Soul Palace

I mean not to those who have really know the “me”. So those in this range, don’t get panick please. Today I was about to write about a kinda “less serious” post until I came back from my kickboxing session and saw a message from Dee that make me slightly piss off. I mean I am not piss off with her but piss off with Mr Mischevious.

Anyway, this morning I was thinking that a lot of friends/acquaintance had always said that “its difficult to ask you out cos you’re always so busy”. I was thinking about it, actually I wasn’t really that busy…I mean yes at times when work require me to stay back late for a period of time. But I always will make exceptional cases for some people(You know who you are) though I might be busy with work. And also that since my 2nd job, I had cut down of working too late. I mean maybe due to the fact that when you try to make appointment with me too late/too last minute or  you’re so unlucky that whenever you try to ask me out…somebody actually had already pre-book me for the day(which usually is the case). So it dun means I am always busy…cos I do know when to work and when to loosen up and enjoy life. So beg your pardon that you dunno me yet

Alrighty, now the “piss off” stuff, Mr Mischevious actually had suggested to go for diving trip during one of the company event. Neither did I reject nor accept the invitation. Yesterday, I received an email from him stating the almost planned date to go for the trip and he stated in the email that he will “forcefully pull” another colleague and me to go, my the other colleague had agreed and I didnt reply cos I am still contemplating about it due to my phobia of “anything hollow beneath”, I can’t imagine my leg dangling in the middle of the sea and can’t touch the sea bed at all…juz freaks me out. Coincidentally, I went for my puff break and he appear…making me feel that he kinda try to corner me…talk to me about it to go for the trip and I said that when the time get nearer then I let him know. And yesterday night, I sms him and said that one of the person who is going for the trip is a muslim and its fasting month in Sept, in hope that the trip will be defer till after fasting month so that I can ask Dee to go with me. I didn’t tell him that I want Dee to go, I mean I want to go for the trip but then becos of my phobia which is one thingy. Then if I want to go…I want to go with somebody who I trust so I will somehow “feel safer to try things that I don’t dare to try”. I mean I don’t depend my life on that person who I trust but just want that particular person to be there…there’s all. And if I dun want to go into the water, at least…I also know that my holiday will not be so bore if the particular person is there. I mean I go to cruise and not having anybody to talk to, is fine to me becos I chose not to or want to talk to anyone at all but don’t mean my other trip I want it to be so. I am not in a stress off mood now, neither am I require of a break at all. So I want my trip to be fun. And I was close to 90% of going for the trip already…becos one of my colleagues who I think can be quite fun, wanna go as she discuss with me during the “high-tea” today. And during kick boxing I also discuss with another colleague to ask her to go.

Anyway, the percentage had just drop back to ZERO percent~! Due to what piss me off…Dee leave a IP msg to me, to tell me that Mr Mischevious approached her to ask her if she can go for the trip and do the prayers over there and don’t give the excuse of fasting month. Number one, I was piss though I am not a muslim, I respect all religion…its fasting month, you don’t expect a muslim to go around having fun and forget about what is most important of the meaning of the fasting month. There’s why I didn’t even consider of psycho-ing Dee to go with me this time round. Number two, I was piss becos I seriously DISLIKE people who wanna manipulative my personal life. Whether I want to go or not, ITS MY CHOICE~! You can be manipulative at work but don’t you dare try to manipulate my personal life~! I can accept that my friends try to psycho me to go somewhere or do something becos they make it known to me what they exactly want…face to face and directly. I dislike people who try to go behind my back and try to make me do something/go somewhere by manipulating people who are close to me….THAT I fagging don’t like~! Especially when it personal stuff. You dunno me yet…so dun fagging try to act smart and think that becos you pull the string of a “puppet” then I will follow suit~! You’re definitely making a very serious mistake…